Past and Future Tense

2008-05-09T11:20:00.000+08:00

Some days of fun left, before I run off to happiness.... (I hope so!)

2008-05-09T10:41:00.002+08:00

I have returned to blogging only because I have reached this significant milestone of my life. I would like to be 'self-reflexive' (Dr Gana) and have it documented.

Yesterday (8 May 08) at 3pm marked my final exam as an undergraduate of NUS. Like lynn, I was really glad that it was Dr Gana's quali inquiry. Having a soci paper as my last exam really reinstated the fact that I am a soci major and served as a proper closure for me. I ended my exam pretty early yesterday. I could have left the exam hall, but chose to continue sitting there and enjoy what's left of school. I was in fact very tempted to write at the end of my exam scripts "Dr Gana, this is my last paper as an undergraduate". Unfortunately, having to conform to the structural limitations, I chose not to do it.

Walking out of school turned me into an emo graduate! Thoughts of no more soci, no more NUS, no more this and that really made me feel sad. These 3 years have passed so quickly and at the same time, I am also amazed at how quickly my mind got transformed and stretched as a result of soci. Soci made me such a keen observer and best of all, everyday we're still constructing new constructions. In the words of lynn, this makes us a "always a sociologist in the making".

This morning I woke up and felt .... weird. I woke up to having no books and no timeline to complete school stuff. I need to change the lifestyle that I have known for my entire life. I'm now in liminal space. Sociologists say liminality = ambiguity = POWER. I choose to defer. This liminality makes me feel powerless, without something to hold onto and not knowing what to expect.

This sem I stayed in school to study till almost 8pm, ate in school every other day, went back to school to study during study week and even during exams - all the firsts for me.

I don't intend to throw/give away my soci books. I can't imagine not reading soci books and engaging my mind. I don't want to be stuck in the 'system' and allow my mind to degenerate.

Now I don't know what to do with my pens, highlighters, foolscap papers, eraser etc........

2007-07-09T11:21:00.000+08:00

I spent last weekend at Bintan. Murphey's law is really at work. When I am in Spore, no one asks me out. But when I was away over the weekend, I had 6 different people asking me out. Anyway, I took the last ferry after work on Friday and came back yesterday evening. I was sun and sea salt kissed!

It was my dad's company trip and I tagged along. It was a good trip as I spent most of the 2 days being alone. The only time I had company was during dinner with my dad as he was out for meetings the rest of the time.

Over the past 2 days I did a lot of reading, thinking and walking. Almost the whole day was spent reading at the beach admist the sound of crashing waves. At the same time, I must have walked quite a distance along the coastline while thinking through things because I suddenly realised I actually had the entire coastline to myself (quite surreal actually). This trip was very eventful as I got most part of my life sorted.

My colleague asked if there were many cute boys there. I said "you bet, plenty... plenty of 3-4 years old cute boys!"

2007-06-14T11:09:00.000+08:00

I had no idea what got into me last night. We went to Double O for drinks before heading to Zouk. When I was at Double O, I had I-don't-know how many shots and alot of other stupid drinks. I can't remember how many times I told the girls it was my last drink, but it never was. After Lynn drank half the tequila shot, I grabbed the other half from her and finished it. I think I was pretty fast because it was only after I was done that the girls exclaimed at what I did.

When we went to Zouk, we had to queue to get it. When we were queueing, the girls were taking turns to hold onto me. I vividly remembered telling Rine to stop moving, and she said "i'm not moving, you're the one who is moving." My gosh. I had no idea how much gibberish I spoke to them. All I knew was they kept telling me to stop making so much noise.

By the way, our hardcore clubber - LYNNETTE sat down on one of those high chairs in Zouk for some time and was yawning like 500 times. Her firsts!

Today was mad. The aftermath. I slept only like for 3 hrs last night and headed to work this morning. Putting on my clothes and make-up was like auto pilot. On the MRT I was struggling to stay awake. The tequila was so bad that even when I drank plain water this morning, it tasted and smelled like tequila, which made me want to puke. I must say my peppermint tea is really quite effective in perking me up.

- Getting drunk helps you find the words and say things you otherwise would never have. -

2007-05-28T11:43:00.000+08:00

Monday. Back to work. I start to dread Sundays coz Sundays = there's work the next day.

Last Friday went out with BaoYue's friends and her cousins to give her a suprise birthday celebration. We sneaked into the cinema without her knowledge and said hi after the show ended. Caught Pirates of the Carribean. I had no idea it was an almost 3 hr show so I wasn't prepared for it. At about 3/4 of the show, both her friend and I dozed off for I-don't-know-how-long. It didn't help that I didn't catch the first 2 episodes and the 3 hr show started only at 1045pm.

After the show we went to Cafe Del Mar and by the time I got home it was 5am. Age is really catching up. It's such a chore to be sleeping for only 4-5 hours for the past 2 Fridays/Saturdays. (Carine's birthday then Baoyue's birthday).

2007-05-22T15:01:00.000+08:00

It started with my building having a fire alarm round about late morning. Everyone assumed it was a false alarm. Then came the heavy rain in the afternoon, I could hear the howling winds from INSIDE my office. Everyone looked at each other and then tried to resume working as though nothing had happened. When we were out for lunch, we saw ambulances and fire engines downstairs our building. This means that the fire alarm wasn't a false alarm. Apparently a Japanese restaurant located on the ground floor of my building had a minor explosion. It was such a commotion and the entire place was sealed. My old building is really falling apart.

2007-05-22T09:35:00.000+08:00

Today's my 2nd day of work in this new company. So far so good, I am ok with the work because I am at least learning something. Within 1 hr of being in the company yesterday, I was given 2 pieces of assignment which needed to be submitted on Wednesday. Towards the end of the day, my boss came to me and asked me how's the process of the 2nd piece of assignment when I am not even half done with the first!

I am the minority here. The company is full of Indians and Sikh. Not only that, most of them are IT or engineering trained. Help me.

Today when I stepped into my office at 9am exactly, the company was more than half empty. People started strolling in only close to 930am. And they left at 6pm yesterday. I left at 610pm and again, more than half the office was empty. Amazing working style here.

2007-05-20T11:26:00.000+08:00

2 weeks, I got 2 major decisions made.
I am walking into another phase of life with effect from today.

2007-05-20T11:11:00.000+08:00

My dad seriously has this thing with Girls and Pink. I left my PINK waterbottle under my desk in school after the last paper. Guess I was too eager to leave that's why I left it behind. I told my dad to get another one for me, which he did from Tupperware. He insisted that I have to get the PINK one because he thought it was 'nice' and bought it without asking me which colour I preferred. Pink equates to girls for him - stereotyping at work.

Last Friday went for Carine's 21st birthday party. It was one hell of a night for me. Tell me, do I have the P-U-K-E O-N M-E kind of face? My friends (the gang, with the exception of Kenneth) all need their turn to do pull that stun on me. Apart from that, I am sure Carine enjoyed herself but we missed our fish soup though! =) ALSO, thanks to Carine's boyfriend who allowed me to send myself home (literally!)

2007-05-18T00:11:00.000+08:00

The past few days of being able to do what I like is great. Yesterday went Mambo with the CheongSam Ladies together with Bao Yue and her friend. It was crazy. The six of us were JUMPING and singing along with the songs played. There was this guy who was dancing on the podium while having a cigarette on his hand. Lynnette told me to check out the t-shirt he was wearing. The slogan on the front of his t-shirt was "The Lord is my Shepherd" while the back read "Amen". What a bad testimony and why would anyone even wear that to go clubbing?!

I am terrible with drinks these days after abstaining from it for too long a period. I used to hold my liquor really well but last week after some beer I needed help from Lynnette (it's only me who takes care of her, never the other way around) and last night after a few drinks I was high. Like they say, practice makes perfect... =)

Not forgetting, when we were on the dance floor last night, SU Yong Kang and this other HK actor (don't know what's his name, but acts quite often) were dancing behind us. We were so close that I could practically FEEL Su Yong Kang. We all thought they looked good, but then again, under the lightings in Zouk, anyone could look good...

2007-05-15T22:10:00.000+08:00

Today I weighed myself and realized that I lost 2kg after just 1 week of crap. Perhaps I should have waited another few days till I get my ideal weight before leaving! Anyhow, an MNC called me yesterday morning to ask me to go down for interview today. They told me they will contact me within this week to let me know if I am selected. Within 2 hours they called me to tell me I was offered the job as Public Relations intern. Praise God. I will be starting work on Monday.

2007-05-14T20:06:00.000+08:00

TODAY I RESIGNED (after 7 days).

I was on the 7-3pm shift today. By 2.30pm, I walked into my boss’ office to tender my resignation. The look on his face when I passed him the letter was priceless. He tried his best to hold me back by offering me ANY positions I ask for and persuaded me to keep the resignation letter. Whichever departments he offered me I shook my head and just thanked him nonetheless. I am beyond sick of that place.

RELIEVED.

2007-05-13T14:03:00.000+08:00

All I do at work everyday is to "be a face" at the lobby for 8 hours, saying good morning/afternoon, sir/mdm.
At work for only 4 days, but been in my big boss' office for 3 days to talk to him about my job.
Both my direct superior and her boss have been taking turns to talk to me everyday to try to make in stay in this job.

I am simply not happy with this job. Period.

Was at Phantom of the Opera last Thursday. It was magical! The set was fantastic and the transition from one scene to another was amazing. It was such an experience watching a mega production.

2007-05-08T09:54:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was the first day of my internship at Meritus Mandarin as Guest Services Personnel. Spent half a day trying on my CheongSam uniform. I was bored yesterday, and am still bored today. Today I am supposed to be on attachment in different departments to see how they work. Currently at the business center now. They told me they have nothing for me to do, so told me to surf the net. Bloody bored.

2007-05-04T12:41:00.000+08:00

My exams were finally over yesterday. Even the air smells better after my liberation. I slept well for once last night - in a long while. I woke up feeling good this morning, knowing that time is in my hands. It's fantastic being able to stone in front of the tv, laptop and just do brainless stuff.

Like what Lynn said, IVLE can go hibernate, no more climbing up that gravity defying slope to catch the bus and writing of essays for the next 3 months!

2007-05-01T14:09:00.000+08:00

It has been raining for 3 consecutive nights at 3am. This means I have also been forced to get up at 3am for the past 3 nights to close the windows at home. As if my sleep hasn't been broken enough by weird dreams.

Last week I have been dreaming about people I know either dying or entering the hospital. This week I have been dreaming at least twice of me telling my pals that I have to sit for a math paper and I was super worried about it because I haven't been practicing it for eons. Apparently my phobia towards math hasn't lessened with time!

2 more papers to go.

2007-04-28T14:02:00.000+08:00

3 papers down, 2 more to go.

The past 3 days had been crazy. Had papers on Thursday, Friday and then today, Saturday. Because I had 9am papers yesterday and today and had not finished studying, I have been waking up at 6am to complete revising.

Today was terrible, waking up at 6am with heavy rain outside. To make matters worst, during my paper, this BLOODY lecturer from don't know where kept giving instructions after instructions to his students. He was pissing the hell out of the rest of us because we were sharing the exam hall. I think he gave some silly instruction at least every half an hour. I swear I was fighting the urge to stand up and ask him to shut the hell up coz each time a thought came to my mind, he blew it off.

But of course, my lecturer saved the day! As I was still struggling to end my essay, he walked pass my desk and placed a sweet on my table and smiled. He is so sweet!

To end off, lunch with the other girls from the module and bitching session was therapeutic. I need my break before studying again for the other papers.

2007-04-20T13:40:00.000+08:00

Rules of the House

If you open it __________ close it
If you get it out _________ put it away
If you sleep in it _________ make it up
If you drink out of it __________ wash it
If you take it off __________ hang it up
If you turn it on _________ turn it off
If you drop it ________ pick it up
If you clip it ________ file it
If it hurts ________ comfort it
If it cries _________ love it

2007-04-12T15:33:00.000+08:00

2007-04-12T15:13:00.000+08:00

PMS plus having to complete my readings is an awful combination. I just finished a whole box of chocolates (9 pieces in it), even the white chocolates which I would have normally thrown them out.

After eating, CHOcolates became JOYcolates. But after some time, I feel JUMBOcolates.

So it didn't help much after all.

2007-04-05T18:02:00.000+08:00

2007-04-03T19:17:00.000+08:00

2007-03-30T12:04:00.000+08:00

Fly me to Europe. Now.

I'll bring along my trench coat, boots and scarfs.

I don't want to be sitting in my living room in tank top and shorts with a fan facing directly at me and still feeling warm!

2007-03-29T17:42:00.000+08:00

I hereby declare that I am not going to make another first move to ask anyone out anymore. (guys in particular). I am not going to throw my dignity down into the dust ever again. And if you're going to tell me that I will remain single if I am not proactive, then forget it. Single shall it be then. (Or so I say.......)

2007-03-29T17:28:00.000+08:00

Why do people seek after love but choose not to let the love which has already seeked us into our lives?

2007-03-26T17:10:00.000+08:00

Wait is torturous.

Especially when you just did something STUPID.

2007-03-24T21:59:00.002+08:00

it's the process.
not the outcome.

Yesterday was a fantastic day. It was one of the most spontaneous acts I have taken done in my life. 2 hours to track along muddy trails, hike up slopes, jump down curbs and walk in between moving buses just get across the STRAITS OF JOHOR for 1 hour.

Dao Hui at the back lanes of Selegie where it looks like it was breeding cockroaches in the huge trash bins and drains.

Shouts of "EGO"!! and "HOW TO WIN"?? from boys with rising testosterone levels.

"Ugly, Ugly" and "Area" were the buzz words for the night.

I haven't had so much fun in ages. (Together with Sam, Ken, Farhan, Lynn, May and BaoYue)

2007-03-22T17:52:00.000+08:00

Just done with my essay so I decided to entertain Lynnette (and myself) who has tagged me...

6 weird things about myself:
1. I think too much, far too much. (what's up with this group of gfs? All think too much. What you see here is what you will also see in Lynn's, Wani's, Rine's and Ron's blog)
2. I drink lots of water. (Rine and Ron told me once that drinking too much water will cause water poisoning. Heck it!)
3. I cannot survive a night without Vaseline on my lips. Only Vaseline works. It never leaves my bedside.
4. I have to brush my teeth before I bathe. Never the other way around.
5. Some people tell me I am a closet romantic. (whatever that is...)
6. I am always at the right place, right time but PERPETUALLY meeting the wrong person.

Done. That wasn't very difficult.

2007-03-19T18:25:00.000+08:00

Have I a forgettable face,
a forgettable personality?

One which blends nicely with the Singaporean crowd - indistinguishable from one another?

2007-03-07T16:31:00.001+08:00

RIGHT place, RIGHT time, WRONG person.
RIGHT place, WRONG time, RIGHT person.
WRONG place, WRONG time, RIGHT person.
WRONG place, RIGHT time, RIGHT person.
.
.
.

How many possible combinations are there to make one right?

2007-02-26T21:06:00.000+08:00

Teaching Sunday school in church for the past 4 months and observing them week after week, these little ones have certainly taught me life lessons.

I have learnt:
1. to be comfortable being in my own skin without thinking how others will think of me.
2. to acknowledge my feelings and let it out. Laugh it off when I feel like it or cry it out at that very moment and move on.
3. to enjoy today as it is.

Kids do not wait till tomorrow to enjoy. Only adults do.

2007-02-10T17:19:00.000+08:00

I need to share this joke of how I can 'supposedly' morphosize into different characters just over the span of a few days.

It started when I went for my haircut last Thursday. After my hairstylist was done with what he needed to do, he told his 'shampoo, blow-dry' girl to blow my hair. As she was doing that, she asked if I was 16 years old. I paused for a while before bursting into laughter. That, of course is an extreme case of blur-ness on her part to think that I am 16. After haircut I went to collect some clothes from the tailor. She only recognised me after describing to her what I was supposed to collect. I thought it was weird that she couldn't recognise me because it was my 2nd visit there. When she finally remembered me, she told me she was having trouble recognising me because I looked so different from the other time I was there. She claimed that I looked like a 'xiao mei mei' that day.

Yesterday when I was in a cab, the taxi driver asked me if I was a teacher. When I told him no, he kept insisting he was right and said 'not teacher MEH?' I kept quiet and didn't want to argue with him.

Today when I went down to buy lunch, this guy who was collecting my money (probably in his mid 20s) called me 'xiao mei'. I looked up at him in disbelief. He then asked me if I was at least 18 years old. It was hilarous. I told him I was 21 and he said I don't look my age.

The point is this, I have always been told I looked at least 3-4 years older than my actual age, but over the past few days being called 'xiao mei' feels good!

I choose to believe that it is my Jesus who is renewing my youth day by day! Don't dispute that. =)

2007-02-09T09:58:00.000+08:00

Now, [Rachel] needs to know that confessing God's Word does not move God to do things for [you]. He had already moved when He gave up Jesus to die for us. So when [you] confess His Word, it actually moves [you] from a position of doubt to faith. It moves [your] heart from a position of "Is it true or not?" to "I believe it!" And when that happens, "[you] will make [your] way prosperous, and then [you] will have good success"!

2007-02-04T21:54:00.001+08:00

Do you feel (at least) a little bothered, even at this age, when your parent/s treat a sibling better than yourself? Do you feel passed over, like a shadow?

I know I do, at least a little. Sometimes.

2007-02-02T16:16:00.000+08:00

2007-02-02T15:36:00.000+08:00

Angry! I cut my nails this morning and shaped them nicely before doing my laundry, thinking that it will be easier to do housework with shorter nails. Who knows, after the laundry, the nail on my thumb broke into half. I stared at it for a while before I could decide how to cut it off. It is now disgustingly short and I hate that raw flesh feeling.

2007-01-31T22:39:00.000+08:00

The flu is really making me sick, literally. Still not ok even after 2 visits to the doctor. I have already chalked up 60 over bucks on medical bills. I am spending all my available time sleeping and when i'm awake, I have to try hard to fight the lethargy. Sucks.

2007-01-30T12:35:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wonder if I wonder too much...

I wonder which category do I belong to - young adult or teen? Is it merely a fluid term?
I wonder why this phase of life seems harder to get through than growing out of those teenage 'angst-y' years?

Just me?

2007-01-29T16:50:00.000+08:00

Today in my Family module tutorial, we were talking about finding the 'perfect spouse'. This guy from my tutorial said he will only date those girls whom he can see himself getting married to. The reason? To ensure that he is making a worthwhile investment. At the same time, she needs to be attractive. Reason being he wants to have attractive kids.

Practicality counts.

2007-01-25T18:50:00.000+08:00

The bible says 'in all things, give thanks.'

I was on MC yesterday because I was, and still am down with a cold. In the process of being sick, I thank God that I can sleep as much as I want to without feeling guilty about wasting time. In my sickness, I find rest. Now how great is that.

Looking at things in a different light certainly keeps me sane.

2007-01-13T14:29:00.000+08:00

2007-01-13T14:10:00.000+08:00

My laptop is giving me a hell of a time. First it was the inability to hook onto the school's wireless network last Tuesday. Went down to the computer center twice before it got solved. Today, my laptop cannot be switched on, whether using the battery or power. Have to send it back to school on Monday. ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz!

Using my brother's desktop now since it is left idle because he has entered the army. Sent him off at the camp yesterday morning. Despite being a wet day yesterday, high tea at Goodwood Park hotel with my friend was still fantastic.

2007-01-02T08:27:00.000+08:00

OUT-OF-TOWN.
-Enjoyment in progress in the land of sea, sand, sun-

2007-01-01T12:23:00.000+08:00

F-A-T, F-A-T, F-A-T!! This season of partying always mean eating and drinking at wee hours of the night where I would normally be asleep.

During my Christmas party, I remember I was still eating BBQ stingray, log cake etc at 1 plus in the morning with beer in the earlier half of the night. Last night after watchnight service at church, we went for porridge at Oasis for supper. After which, went to one of my church member's house for beer.

Supper + Beer = KILLER! And this vicious cycle goes on every year.

Blessed 2007!

2006-12-27T23:57:00.001+08:00

I hate the rainy weather. I am staying at home everyday because I refuse to walk on the wet grounds unless absolutely necessary. I can't hit the gym and try to lose those weight because of the rain. (A legitimate reason to not work out..)

BUT, this rainy weather will be shortlived because I just booked tickets today to go after my long deprieved sun rays in Phuket from next Tuesday. Sun, sea, sand, I can't wait! Just imagine how much you can do with the sun around!

And how can I forget about my massage boot camp....

2006-12-22T12:23:00.000+08:00

Have been experiencing a few relatively interesting encounters ever since I returned from China last Friday.

It started with my cab ride last Sunday. The taxi driver insisted I was a tourist. She bombarded me with a host of other conversations revolving around my 'un-Singaporean' look till I reached my destination.

Then I was in this shop on Wednesday. When I was at the cashier, she asked if I am staying in Singapore. When I told her 'yah, why?' she told me that she will then give me a 10% discount card.

Last night when I was along the bay at Esplanade with a group of friends, the man holding a brochure approached only me and asked if I was interested in taking the boat ride, mistaking me for a tourist again.

Three consecutive encounters. (I was at home on Monday and Tuesday, so it can be considered as consecutive =) I wonder if I have changed since I came back from my holiday.

2006-12-20T11:43:00.000+08:00

Indeed, no longer feeling under the weather because the sun seemed to have risen from down under. I spent half an hour this morning bringing all my laundry out to catch the rare sun.

That's life. When you've got no work to do and are at home, you just become an Ah Sum.

2006-12-19T22:31:00.000+08:00

2006-12-19T22:29:00.000+08:00

2006-12-19T10:11:00.000+08:00

Was back last Friday night. China isn't that bad, really. As long as you get pass the disguisting toilets, some of the super oily and salty dishes served on dining table, then I think you'll survive it. China has been an eye-opener for me. I have never expected it to be so modern, especially Shanghai. I'll definitely visit Shanghai in the near future, but not too sure about the other states at this point in time yet. Might talk more about it later and post some pictures when I feel less under the weather.

I have been feeling under the weather since I was back because firstly, I am experiencing the "back from a holiday" syndrome, secondly is having a slight cold caused by the drastic change in temperature (1-2 degrees in China everyday) and last but not the least, the gloomy and rainy skies outside. I think it has been raining since I came back! I just feel like sleeping in everyday when I look out of the window.

2006-12-08T07:19:00.000+08:00

At the airport now, waiting to board the aircraft for China. There is a toddler right next to me while his mummy is on the computer. I am making him smile as I type this now...

2006-11-20T10:06:00.000+08:00

Apparently passing the 2-0 mark isn't just about the number. I feel unable to withstand the test of time.

One morning I realised faint lines (which originally wasn't there) appearing on my forehead while brushing my teeth. The pores on my face seems enlarged without the need of a magnifying glass. Worrying about getting fat happens all day, so no further mention of it is needed.

I am supposed to be in the prime of my life. What's up with the lines and pores?!

2006-11-18T18:11:00.000+08:00

I have 2 ex colleagues getting married soon and the rest are throwing a party for them next Friday. I can't go because of the FREAKING exam paper on Saturday morning!

Boo Hoo!

2006-11-07T23:15:00.000+08:00

keeping the kids captivated for two hours: priceless

2006-11-06T23:05:00.000+08:00

Yesterday when I was teaching Sunday School, I shared a personal testimony with the kids. They continued requesting for more even after I was done. I could only think of 2 to share off hand.

Today when I was alone, I thought through the events which God saw me in the course of my years as a Christian. I really would have turned out a different person without this amazing love. Not for the better definitely.

2006-11-06T23:00:00.000+08:00

This morning I started doing the compilation of the different parts of the essay for Gender Studies. By now, there are altogether 6 drafts which were edited and re-edited by everyone. I have to admit I am so proud of my slave driving skills!

2006-11-06T22:51:00.000+08:00

God is amazing. I was teaching Sunday School yesterday and at the end of the lesson when I offered the kids a chance to give their lives to Christ, every single one present raised their hands eagerly and responded to the alter call.

Only the Word of God can melt the toughest hearts. This walk is truly exciting.

2006-11-03T10:19:00.000+08:00

I went for a haircut yesterday and it was very therapeutic. Apart from the actual cut, my hairstylist and I spent almost 2 hrs talking about God and telling me how good God is to him. I left the place being reminded of my position in Christ and falling in love with Him all over again. I not only look good on the outside, I was renewed on the inside.

My mum had an invite for two to Conrad last night which I went along. There was a cocktail in the hotel before they send us to Esplanade for a SSO concert and back to the hotel for desserts and drinks. I was impressed with their service. I felt like a VIP for a night!

Everyone was in lounge suits. We were given a selection of white or red wine, or champagne for the cocktail. Even on the short journey from Conrad to Esplanade, we were served chocolates on board. In Esplanade, we were given seats which were right in front. After the show while waiting for the coach to come, we were served champagne. Imagine holding champange glasses outside Esplanade while bystanders looked on!

Each of us were given this to bring home:

I had a little too many drinks last night that I was floating on my way home. My brother returned my earings and watch this morning. It was then I realised I was really a little tipsy because I left my things in his room last night after talking to him.

2006-10-30T10:50:00.000+08:00

Lynn asks if a guy friend will peel prawns for you.

I ask if a guy friend will tell you to be careful when you walk on top of those drains on the roads because he is afraid that your heels might get stuck in them.

Have we reached the last chapter of our story? Will the Author tell me if there will be a part 2 to look forward to?

Make it real, or take it all away.

2006-10-26T18:56:00.000+08:00

2006-10-26T18:00:00.000+08:00

They are broadcasting CHRISTMAS advertisements on radio now?! It's only 26 OCTOBER!

2006-10-20T16:59:00.000+08:00

I was just reading this e-book (Cultural Studies and the Study of Popular Culture) for my project and came across this very interesting passage:

Happiness is the heterosexual couple. A happy end is a boy and girl together. A girl alone signifies failure.

The code of romance is narrow and explicit -

1. the girl has to fight to get and keep her man;
2. she can never trust another woman unless she is old and 'hideous'

You decide for yourself how much of this do you think is true.

2006-10-19T23:16:00.000+08:00

I got this picture from Lynnette. I adore this picture. Guys, you get the idea?

2006-10-19T22:19:00.000+08:00

I love the adrenaline high each time I complete my 1 hour laps at the pool.

I am in fact addicted to it.

2006-10-15T22:55:00.000+08:00

2006-10-15T16:15:00.000+08:00

I always hope you will do something.

But you never did.

2006-10-15T16:05:00.000+08:00

Only the pillow feels the weight of those tears.
Only You, oh Lord, in the darkest of nights see those tears.

2006-10-14T01:00:00.000+08:00

Every minute has been well stretched over the past 2 days.

Yesterday had lessons from 8-12, then went to GE to conduct an interview for my project. Met a friend to do some shopping from Raffles Place to People's Park before heading for dinner. By the time I reached home, did some stuff and finally got to bed was almost 1am.

I was in school from 10am to 4pm without any breaks in between. I was pretty sure my brain was fried. Didn't even have time for lunch. Zoomed home after that to put my barang down then rushed to the National Museum for the Cartier exhibition.

The exhibition was indeed an eye-opener! There were displays of jewellery pieces dated back in the 1910s to present. I was on the guided tour and it was truly an enriching journey. So much significance assigned to each piece of art.

There was one piece that left an impression on me. Cartier has this bangle series with screws on it. Named the "lover's bangle", it used to be sold as a pair. The rational for this was so that a couple could buy a pair and screw it on for one another. Since love was SUPPOSED to be everlasting, the couple will then throw away the screwdriver so that the bangle will remain on them forever.

However, Cartier recognises that the idea of love has changed overtime. The term everlasting hardly exists now. Therefore, bangles are now modified into the clip on version so that it could be removed easily and anytime. How innovative!

After being fed on this enriching cultural capital meal, my stomach needed to be fed next. Went for dinner and reached home at almost 12.

Long day, lots of work pilled up and I hear them calling out to me. Mentally and more importantly, physically tired. I dream of a massage now... Looks like I can only dream on tonight. I swear I will sign up for a massage boot camp if there was one.

2006-10-09T10:53:00.000+08:00

After a long day at church yesterday, I had the sudden urge to spend. My hands felt itchy to reach for something and make it mine. Note: I hardly have this urge-to-spend syndrome.

I headed to Suntec city, since it was nearest to church and spent 1.5h on 3 shops, which were located almost side by side. I had no sense of how much I was spending. All I knew was I had my therapy. 1.5h on 3 shops is definitely possible if you spend most of your time in the fitting rooms.

Started off with buying a pair of slippers from NOVO, then proceeded to MANGO which was next to it and bought a chilli red light knitted top. When I was trying on my top in the fitting room, I thought I heard 2 men's voices next to me but I remembered seeing the sign "Women only" outside the fitting room. Without even the need for eavesdropping, I found out that both of them were transvestites from Thailand. I felt sudden shudders down my spine. Though they are now "women", but the thought of changing next to them over a flimsy divide, I can't help but feel as though I was stripping with 2 men next to me.

As I was about to leave Suntec to meet my mum, I walked pass Seafolly. I ventured in and was so tempted to buy a bikini top. I was glad I had to rush off because given my mood, I was pretty sure I would have spluged on it. So far, 2 items didn't cause any regret. But if there was a THIRD, regret will definitely set in because the bikini top cost plus minus $140.

Waited for my mum at the Fullerton hotel lobby. As I walked pass the ballrooms, I saw 1 photographer after another getting shots of the people living the high life. After finding a seat at the lobby, more beautiful people walked pass me filled with an aura of their own. I can't help but to fantasise living such a dream.

I decided on 1 thing. I decided to change my ambition... I want to be a socialite. I want to make looking pretty, attending functions my job! Get me a rich husband. I am ok even if he is not rich but his father is. As long as his father knows somebody's father and somebody's father!!!

2006-10-08T01:23:00.000+08:00

Lynn sweetie! Trust that you had a great great birthday! Hope we spoilt you well enough with love, gifts and most importantly, OUR PRESENCE!!

2006-10-08T00:59:00.000+08:00

I can't sleep now with prata floating about in my tummy....

Yesterday and today were simply fabulous days! How I wish we had something to document everything down.

It was by chance yesterday that both Kenneth and I were driving. So with 2 cars, we decided to head to the Bedok hawker center for dinner/supper. 6 of us squeezed into a tiny table meant only for 4. We had plenty of food as well, chicken wings, bak chor mee, satay, stingray, sotong and sugarcane juice - all for under $10! Since our table was tiny and we had an overflowing amount of food, they had to be placed on the chairs instead.

Sped to Selegie for tau huay after that. I used 'sped' because we literally sped there. Samuel and I sped a little, just a little along ECP after passing the speed camera ; ). But that was purely out of a moment of playfulness. My dad might chop me if he knows about this...

After tau huay was off to Kent Ridge Park, the one with lots and lots of turns before making to the top.

My extravaganza didn't stop there.

Today was out with my family for tim sum then to Pasir Ris Park at night with a few friends to attend Joseph's 21th birthday celebration. We went there to show our faces for a while before heading for dinner/supper. Our original intention was to go to Alexandra for fish sliced bee hoon, but a wrong turn to a highway led us to Thomson's Roti Prata House. It was a gain out this mistake, so it was not that bad after all.

2 indulgent nights. No sense of the clock ticking. Great food + fantastic company = lots of fun.

2006-10-02T11:55:00.000+08:00

Last Saturday evening was my last tuition lesson with my girl because today is her English paper. As we were chatting, she told me she has to make it to Sec 3 exp next year because of the carrots dangling in front of her.

According to her, her mum promises anything she wants when she makes it. Her aunt promises any item from LV while her dad, a driving license and a CAR!

She told me 17 is the legal age to drive in Indonesia. So imagine getting a car at 17.

I wondered... If she is going to get all that just for getting into the express stream, what will happen when she does well for her O levels, and get into Uni etc, etc.. Will her dad buy her the whole of Manado (her hometown)?

2006-10-02T00:06:00.000+08:00

00:06, Monday

I am having a project discussion online now.

2006-10-01T22:08:00.000+08:00

Today at Sunday school we had a children's day party. Some of the teachers brought in nail polish, crayons which are meant for drawing designs on their hands along with the usual balloons and stuff.

While I was sitting at a at corner watching them, this 3 year old girl came to me and told me she wanted me to draw a red star on her arm. When I was done, she said she would like another pink star above the red one, so I gave her all the stars she wanted. I thought I was done, or so I thought.

She then came back with a bottle of nail polish and told me to paint it for her. I appeased her by painting only one of her tiny fingers. She told me it wasn't enough. She wanted it on all her 5 tiny fingers. I was shocked at that request from a 3 year old.

She's starting young - her beauty regime at 3...

2006-09-28T22:16:00.000+08:00

This one gender project groupmate is bloody lazy! There are 4 of us, one girl has no comments to anything and everything, while the other is bloody, bloody, (and I can't stress more..) bloody lazy.

First, she volunteered to get our contacts and pass on to the rest but didn't do it at all till we saw her 2 weeks later, during the next tutorial where I had to ask her for it. Second, during one of our class discussions, there were a few instances where she passed us the work to do while she sat there enjoying the view of us hard at work when it was supposed to be "group work". Third, after our online discussion just now, she came in late, but that was not the main problem. After the discussion, she arrowed us (yet again!) to write the proposal while she goes to I don't know where.

Pissed!

I swear I would have killed her with my stare if she is right in front of me now! I am blood thirsty! Bloody bloody pissed!

I hope she does a google search on me and sees this. And yes, I AM TALKING ABOUT YOU! Lame... Arrggh!

2006-09-27T10:07:00.000+08:00

Going back to JJ yesterday was sure an experience!

First, the bus interchange was relocated. I had to walk round the huge semi circle to look for the 3 bus services which go to JJ. In the past, the 3 services were next to each other. This means I can hop onto whichever that came first. But now, the boarding place for the 3 services were distributed evenly along the semi circle. This meant I walked from 1 end to the other before deciding to settle for the last one I walked to.

Next was when I reached JJ. There is a new block and when I walked in there, I was slightly disoriented. I had to think for a moment the way I needed to take to go to the PE dept.

Despite the changes, some things still remain the same. As I was walking along the aisle, I saw the bench Diyana, Shaiful and I used to sit on to bitch about everything - from the school system to the teachers and every other thing.

Then I saw the water cooler which is next to our A2 hangout spot. Then I remembered how Lynn and I used to tell each other to drink the cooler dry because both of us were the only water bearers in class.

One thing which also didn't change was the long long ride to town on 174 from school.

Memories still seem fresh.

2006-09-27T10:05:00.001+08:00

HaPpY bIrThDaY sAmUeL !!

2006-09-27T10:00:00.000+08:00

Forbidden City last night was fantastic. There was an excellent use of space and props. The musical was on for 2 and a half hours, relatively long compared to other musicals. A recommended one to go for.

2006-09-25T13:09:00.000+08:00

My body sure chooses the right time to ask for a timeout. My throat feels hoarse, sneeze non-stop, feel light headed and worst of all, very tired. Mid sem breaks are not meant for staying at home to nurse a flu.

2006-09-18T21:17:00.000+08:00

My ex-student passed on today. The ordeal might have been too much for her to bear. She must have had her release.

2006-09-17T22:30:00.000+08:00

My ex-student's situation has not improved a bit. In fact she is as much dependent on her tubes to keep her alive as much as when she was first warded.

It is so ironic that on one end, some people are leading purposeless lives, wasting what time they have in their hands, while on the other end, some others are struggling to stay alive.

2006-09-15T22:36:00.000+08:00

The song "Dance With My Father" is on air now. This song never fails to bring the surge of nostalgia. It holds a special meaning. It depicts my life story.

Every night I fall asleep, this is all I ever dream...

2006-09-14T23:23:00.000+08:00

My heart aches now. Every single muscle is pulling. I was on MSN a moment ago when one of my ex-students came to chat with me. I loved his class. They were in fact my pet class. It started off as a normal conversation before he broke this news to me.

He told me one of the girls in his class is now in ICU. She was drowned in the pool for 10 minutes before someone came to her rescue. It has been a week since she has been in coma. Most of her organs are damaged, including her brain. If any chances of her waking up from her coma, that's if she does, she will still be a vegetable.

She is 16.

Please..... Keep her in prayer.

2006-09-13T22:17:00.000+08:00

How much of God's power would you need to conquer the challenges you are facing right now? Would the kind of divine muscle He used to create the earth be enough strength to get you through? Would the supernatural light that set the sun and stars ablaze be enough to brighten the darkened corners of your life? Would the divine life force that animated every living creature on the face of the earth be enough to enable you to do the things you need to do?

2006-09-07T17:59:00.000+08:00

Mundane lifecycle. Tutorials, lectures, assignments, readings.

2006-09-07T17:32:00.000+08:00

I am praying for the manifestation of a God-given dream, a dream that will last - for a lifetime. I want it NOW in fact, but God says He is the builder of my dreams, and the finest buildings - the ones that remain - take time. The foundations have to be strong and certain to withhold the weathering that time and life bring on its journey. He is preparing it to last - for a lifetime.

The waiting for God's perfect timing is going to produce a great strength of character. What I think is big and impossible is probably only the tip of the iceberg of what God wants to do through me. He will give me strength to wait and witness the fulfillment.

2006-09-01T10:12:00.000+08:00

Passion Is The Difference

When Mother Teresa was asked what sort of person could possibly tackle such as overwhelming problem as world poverty, she responded, "It's never a person who wants to save the world. They always become discouraged. But send me a contemplative. Send me someone who has a deep heart for God, and one day at a time, they serve."

2006-08-30T09:36:00.000+08:00

I have been having weird, but beautiful dreams of late. Weird because everything seemed so surreal, but beautiful only because you know it is surreal. My dreams fulfill all my inner desires, which otherwise would not have been done BECAUSE OF A LACK OF COURAGE. Waking up has been a chore because I want to slip back into those dreams. Perhaps life has been too cruel, too tiring. Dreams, especially beautiful ones are your only source of refuge, only source of comfort.

I may have been thinking too much. I don't know if that is healthy.

I wonder if I have been sleeping much the past few nights with my fantasies which know no boundaries...

2006-08-24T13:20:00.000+08:00

When you know grief so overwhelming that you feel you will drown in the depths of emotion, this is when you need to choose to worship the King - there at your lowest point. This is where the sweet presence of God will wash over you, and our Father will breathe His breath into your life, allowing you to rise again and find His grace and favour to go on.

When you feel your world is in complete darkness, choose to praise Him in the midst of it. God's glorious light will invade the situation, and the reality is that dark and light cannot co-exist. An explosion of praise chases the darkness away, and again His kiss - the reality of why we need a Saviour is revealed.

2006-08-21T16:15:00.000+08:00

I was supposed to do my readings for tomorrow's lecture but ended up spending the few hours watching Mom at Sixteen on Hallmark channel instead. Thought I could do it later but my tuition girl called and ask me to go to her place for tuition in the evening. I always accomplish everything - but never school work.

I hope I manage to get all my tutorials at round 1 of balloting. Hate having to go through it every sem. A waste of time.

2006-08-21T16:02:00.000+08:00

I almost got tortured to death yesterday. I went along with my mum for her foot reflex yesterday evening and I sure did curse myself for that. I went through 50 mins of pure hell. Wherever he landed his hands on, the piercing pain shot up every single cell in my body. It was a constant battle between that guy and I because I was pulling my foot away from him while he pulled it back towards him.

I have a strong threshold for pain, but yesterday was no joke. I had gone through so many sessions before but nothing beats yesterday's. There was a point where I could not take it anymore and told the guy to go easy. I said it in Mandarin and English but he ignored me and continued using his mighty strength on my foot.

People said the pain coming from the different parts of the feet reflects a certain body part being unhealthy. I must be dying then.

2006-08-15T17:45:00.000+08:00

My first day of school was greeted with a wet, wet day. I was reluctant to get out of house. It was in fact a great day to be found lazing on the couch surfing through tv channels or with a book. I had to settle for instant noodles for lunch because it was impossible to get out of the house without getting wet.

My first lecture for the new academic year was a cross-faculty module in the Business School. Tough luck trying to navigate our way to the seminar room.

Seriously, going to school for the first time as a second year student, I felt no difference from a freshie. I could not find my way around and STILL can never understand how the school system works. I think I will continue to be that freshie-loser till the day I graduate. But I don't care. At least I know how my modules and assignments work. That's sufficient.

2006-08-14T16:39:00.000+08:00

School and everything related to it is not the only thing that is irritating me now. My laptop has just been reformated. I just realised I can't open essential documents-school related because I have some programmes missing that are needed to support it. I hate technology. School too.

I am a techno idiot. I am irritable.

2006-08-14T16:26:00.000+08:00

School's in this week. I am having a 4 day week with Mondays being my off days. A load is off my mind with bidding for modules, but I am getting a terrible splitting headache from trying to plan my tutorials. With that done, I still need to pray very hard that I get all my choices. I want no screwed up timetables.

One of my modules already have mid-term essay questions posted up. Date due: 29 October 2006. How I CAAAAAN'T wait for stacks of readings, endless term papers, tonnes of tutorials to come in! ZZZZzzzzzz...

2006-08-07T11:55:00.000+08:00

I am the Resurrector of all your broken dreams.

2006-08-04T14:04:00.000+08:00

Had a great day yesterday. Was supposed to meet only a girlfriend of mine in the afternoon yesterday to celebrate my birthday, but 2 others came along the way without my knowledge. Everyone was all so super sweet. One specially went to Raffles place to get me my all time favourite cake, the others came specially to shower me with gifts and company. Another one came along the way to join us later after a quick nap at home from his nightshift.

Dinner was with another group of friends at The Turquoise Room. A great place to chill out, nice decor. One of them even thought of holding her engagement party there (when she finds the right one to get married to, that is..). We had a bottle of white wine to go along with the food as well.

We went to Pre-Rouge after that for more drinks after dinner. Had a fabulous time with great food, great wine and most of all, great company.

Love you guys for everything. I actually had no idea what to expect yesterday. Everybody's lips were so sealed. I could not get anything out from them. It was in fact surprises after suprises. I felt spoilt, treated like a Princess in fact.

Meeting another group of friends later to pig into good food again for a belated celebration.

And yes, I have finally made my grand appearance in the big 2 - O club now.

2006-08-04T10:58:00.000+08:00

Back in the swing of things after taking my not-so-long break. Sufficient to get me back kicking at least.. I shall attempt to do up a quick summation of my travelodge.

Bali

After my stint at work, which ended on Friday, I flew off to Bali on Monday. Was supposed to be away for 5 days, but was only back on the 6th. Will explain why later.

The night before

I started packing my luggage only at 1130pm, all the way till almost 1am. Blame it on myself for the last minute work.

Day 1

We flew SQ and took the first flight out to Bali. Flight departed at about 930am. By the time we arrived there was afternoon. Checked into hotel, did our orientation walk around the hotel vicinity. We were staying at the prime shopping district, so you can imagine how much time we spent just trying to familarise ourselves with the area.

Dinner was at Jimbaran Bay. The restaurant is located along the beach. We had to choose the fresh seafood we wanted then bargain for the right price. There were 3 of us there. I turned on feminine charms and manged to make that guy slash my price from 1m rupiah to round about 700,000 rupiah. My other 2 friends were happily watching the show that was going on between him and I from the side. My powerful bagaining skills combined with feminine charms sure worked wonders.

The great lobster and prawns feast

Day 2

We hanged out at the beach and pool during the day. Did a massage at the beach then went to the night market at Denpasar. There were only locals at the market. Foreigners were a rare sight. We each took corn on the cob. When we were about to leave, with the cob still in our hands because we could not find any dustbins (typical Singaporean mindset), we asked our driver where we could dispose it. We signalled to us to throw it on the floor. We were like "huh? can meh?" 2 of us squatted and placed it neatly on the floor on 1 side. The scene was hilarious. The shopkeepers and our driver was laughing at us, thinking which planet we were from.

Surfers. Crashing waves. Us

Day 3

Day 3 was THE highlight! We went for whitewater rafting. Highly recommended! A must go! Dinner was at Poppies Restaurant. Good food, value for money.

An all-natural shower point

Day 4

We hanged out at the beach for a while then went for a 2 hour spa treatment. Dinner was at Ku De Ta. Pretty expensive, in Bali but it was still affordable as the prices were about Singapore's. Another not to be missed place because of its fantastic ambience! Eating near the sea and having drinks under the stars. I must say my ex-colleague has been of a great help at recommending all the worthy places to be in, from the beach, to activites to restautants.

Day 5

Hanged around at the shopping malls, did our mani and pedicures and went for foot reflexology. (I AM A SLAVE OF MASSAGES) Headed to the airport, ready to get back home.

Our journey was supposed to end here. But the twist of events proved not.

We were about to board the plane in 3 minutes. They paged for one of my friends. They told him that the SQ flight had been overbooked and 2 people needed the air tickets urgently. They then asked if we were willing to give up our seats and fly back on the first flight the next morning. In compensation, they will fly us back in business class, provide free airport-hotel tranfers, hotel and breakfast. We grabbed it.

Here comes the interesting part... We went into the SQ office and I started my natural talent of negotiation again.

1. I told them we haven't had dinner. - they provided free dinner at the hotel
2. I told them I needed 2 bedrooms because there was 1 guy and 2 of us girls, when in fact we stayed in a triple sharing room. - they adhered to my request.
3. I asked them if we could get some allowance because we didn't have enough clothes to wear, (which in fact was exaggerating). - they provided an overnight kit with branded toiletries and S$300 per person. We were skipping with joy from within!
4. We were given the SQ loungue to rest in before boarding the flight on Saturday.

*All on top of the original package they offered. Thank God for that favour!

When else can you 'chop' SQ?

That explains why my trip was 6 days instead of 5.

2006-07-21T17:55:00.000+08:00

Almost 6pm now. My last day at work. My last blog entry using my office computer. Started great, ended great.

2006-07-20T09:25:00.000+08:00

Yesterday had lunch with my department, instead of just with my big boss. 10 of us were there. We had lunch at Pagi Sore, which is an Indonesian Restaurant. After that was desserts at Chinatown.

Last 2 days of work (countdown..) and I feel I am all switched off already. I somehow floated out of the house and I got to the office! I am trying to complete ALL my work today so that I can be a vase tomorrow, one which will be fit to look at and not fit to use.

I am in my thinking, but trying not to think phase. I am incoherent, fine.

2006-07-19T10:30:00.000+08:00

Peace. Comforter. Refuge. Strength. Restorer. Joy. Helper. Wisdom. My best friend. My everything. Faithful. Strong. Unchangeable. All I ever need.

He is my Abba, Father.