Past and Future Tense

2008-05-09T11:20:00.000+08:00

Some days of fun left, before I run off to happiness.... (I hope so!)

2008-05-09T10:41:00.002+08:00

I have returned to blogging only because I have reached this significant milestone of my life. I would like to be 'self-reflexive' (Dr Gana) and have it documented.

Yesterday (8 May 08) at 3pm marked my final exam as an undergraduate of NUS. Like lynn, I was really glad that it was Dr Gana's quali inquiry. Having a soci paper as my last exam really reinstated the fact that I am a soci major and served as a proper closure for me. I ended my exam pretty early yesterday. I could have left the exam hall, but chose to continue sitting there and enjoy what's left of school. I was in fact very tempted to write at the end of my exam scripts "Dr Gana, this is my last paper as an undergraduate". Unfortunately, having to conform to the structural limitations, I chose not to do it.

Walking out of school turned me into an emo graduate! Thoughts of no more soci, no more NUS, no more this and that really made me feel sad. These 3 years have passed so quickly and at the same time, I am also amazed at how quickly my mind got transformed and stretched as a result of soci. Soci made me such a keen observer and best of all, everyday we're still constructing new constructions. In the words of lynn, this makes us a "always a sociologist in the making".

This morning I woke up and felt .... weird. I woke up to having no books and no timeline to complete school stuff. I need to change the lifestyle that I have known for my entire life. I'm now in liminal space. Sociologists say liminality = ambiguity = POWER. I choose to defer. This liminality makes me feel powerless, without something to hold onto and not knowing what to expect.

This sem I stayed in school to study till almost 8pm, ate in school every other day, went back to school to study during study week and even during exams - all the firsts for me.

I don't intend to throw/give away my soci books. I can't imagine not reading soci books and engaging my mind. I don't want to be stuck in the 'system' and allow my mind to degenerate.

Now I don't know what to do with my pens, highlighters, foolscap papers, eraser etc........

2007-07-09T11:21:00.000+08:00

I spent last weekend at Bintan. Murphey's law is really at work. When I am in Spore, no one asks me out. But when I was away over the weekend, I had 6 different people asking me out. Anyway, I took the last ferry after work on Friday and came back yesterday evening. I was sun and sea salt kissed!

It was my dad's company trip and I tagged along. It was a good trip as I spent most of the 2 days being alone. The only time I had company was during dinner with my dad as he was out for meetings the rest of the time.

Over the past 2 days I did a lot of reading, thinking and walking. Almost the whole day was spent reading at the beach admist the sound of crashing waves. At the same time, I must have walked quite a distance along the coastline while thinking through things because I suddenly realised I actually had the entire coastline to myself (quite surreal actually). This trip was very eventful as I got most part of my life sorted.

My colleague asked if there were many cute boys there. I said "you bet, plenty... plenty of 3-4 years old cute boys!"

2007-06-14T11:09:00.000+08:00

I had no idea what got into me last night. We went to Double O for drinks before heading to Zouk. When I was at Double O, I had I-don't-know how many shots and alot of other stupid drinks. I can't remember how many times I told the girls it was my last drink, but it never was. After Lynn drank half the tequila shot, I grabbed the other half from her and finished it. I think I was pretty fast because it was only after I was done that the girls exclaimed at what I did.

When we went to Zouk, we had to queue to get it. When we were queueing, the girls were taking turns to hold onto me. I vividly remembered telling Rine to stop moving, and she said "i'm not moving, you're the one who is moving." My gosh. I had no idea how much gibberish I spoke to them. All I knew was they kept telling me to stop making so much noise.

By the way, our hardcore clubber - LYNNETTE sat down on one of those high chairs in Zouk for some time and was yawning like 500 times. Her firsts!

Today was mad. The aftermath. I slept only like for 3 hrs last night and headed to work this morning. Putting on my clothes and make-up was like auto pilot. On the MRT I was struggling to stay awake. The tequila was so bad that even when I drank plain water this morning, it tasted and smelled like tequila, which made me want to puke. I must say my peppermint tea is really quite effective in perking me up.

- Getting drunk helps you find the words and say things you otherwise would never have. -

2007-05-28T11:43:00.000+08:00

Monday. Back to work. I start to dread Sundays coz Sundays = there's work the next day.

Last Friday went out with BaoYue's friends and her cousins to give her a suprise birthday celebration. We sneaked into the cinema without her knowledge and said hi after the show ended. Caught Pirates of the Carribean. I had no idea it was an almost 3 hr show so I wasn't prepared for it. At about 3/4 of the show, both her friend and I dozed off for I-don't-know-how-long. It didn't help that I didn't catch the first 2 episodes and the 3 hr show started only at 1045pm.

After the show we went to Cafe Del Mar and by the time I got home it was 5am. Age is really catching up. It's such a chore to be sleeping for only 4-5 hours for the past 2 Fridays/Saturdays. (Carine's birthday then Baoyue's birthday).

2007-05-22T15:01:00.000+08:00

It started with my building having a fire alarm round about late morning. Everyone assumed it was a false alarm. Then came the heavy rain in the afternoon, I could hear the howling winds from INSIDE my office. Everyone looked at each other and then tried to resume working as though nothing had happened. When we were out for lunch, we saw ambulances and fire engines downstairs our building. This means that the fire alarm wasn't a false alarm. Apparently a Japanese restaurant located on the ground floor of my building had a minor explosion. It was such a commotion and the entire place was sealed. My old building is really falling apart.

2007-05-22T09:35:00.000+08:00

Today's my 2nd day of work in this new company. So far so good, I am ok with the work because I am at least learning something. Within 1 hr of being in the company yesterday, I was given 2 pieces of assignment which needed to be submitted on Wednesday. Towards the end of the day, my boss came to me and asked me how's the process of the 2nd piece of assignment when I am not even half done with the first!

I am the minority here. The company is full of Indians and Sikh. Not only that, most of them are IT or engineering trained. Help me.

Today when I stepped into my office at 9am exactly, the company was more than half empty. People started strolling in only close to 930am. And they left at 6pm yesterday. I left at 610pm and again, more than half the office was empty. Amazing working style here.

2007-05-20T11:11:00.000+08:00

My dad seriously has this thing with Girls and Pink. I left my PINK waterbottle under my desk in school after the last paper. Guess I was too eager to leave that's why I left it behind. I told my dad to get another one for me, which he did from Tupperware. He insisted that I have to get the PINK one because he thought it was 'nice' and bought it without asking me which colour I preferred. Pink equates to girls for him - stereotyping at work.

Last Friday went for Carine's 21st birthday party. It was one hell of a night for me. Tell me, do I have the P-U-K-E O-N M-E kind of face? My friends (the gang, with the exception of Kenneth) all need their turn to do pull that stun on me. Apart from that, I am sure Carine enjoyed herself but we missed our fish soup though! =) ALSO, thanks to Carine's boyfriend who allowed me to send myself home (literally!)

2007-05-20T11:26:00.000+08:00

2 weeks, I got 2 major decisions made.
I am walking into another phase of life with effect from today.

2007-05-18T00:11:00.000+08:00

The past few days of being able to do what I like is great. Yesterday went Mambo with the CheongSam Ladies together with Bao Yue and her friend. It was crazy. The six of us were JUMPING and singing along with the songs played. There was this guy who was dancing on the podium while having a cigarette on his hand. Lynnette told me to check out the t-shirt he was wearing. The slogan on the front of his t-shirt was "The Lord is my Shepherd" while the back read "Amen". What a bad testimony and why would anyone even wear that to go clubbing?!

I am terrible with drinks these days after abstaining from it for too long a period. I used to hold my liquor really well but last week after some beer I needed help from Lynnette (it's only me who takes care of her, never the other way around) and last night after a few drinks I was high. Like they say, practice makes perfect... =)

Not forgetting, when we were on the dance floor last night, SU Yong Kang and this other HK actor (don't know what's his name, but acts quite often) were dancing behind us. We were so close that I could practically FEEL Su Yong Kang. We all thought they looked good, but then again, under the lightings in Zouk, anyone could look good...

2007-05-15T22:10:00.000+08:00

Today I weighed myself and realized that I lost 2kg after just 1 week of crap. Perhaps I should have waited another few days till I get my ideal weight before leaving! Anyhow, an MNC called me yesterday morning to ask me to go down for interview today. They told me they will contact me within this week to let me know if I am selected. Within 2 hours they called me to tell me I was offered the job as Public Relations intern. Praise God. I will be starting work on Monday.

2007-05-14T20:06:00.000+08:00

TODAY I RESIGNED (after 7 days).

I was on the 7-3pm shift today. By 2.30pm, I walked into my boss’ office to tender my resignation. The look on his face when I passed him the letter was priceless. He tried his best to hold me back by offering me ANY positions I ask for and persuaded me to keep the resignation letter. Whichever departments he offered me I shook my head and just thanked him nonetheless. I am beyond sick of that place.

RELIEVED.

2007-05-13T14:03:00.000+08:00

All I do at work everyday is to "be a face" at the lobby for 8 hours, saying good morning/afternoon, sir/mdm.
At work for only 4 days, but been in my big boss' office for 3 days to talk to him about my job.
Both my direct superior and her boss have been taking turns to talk to me everyday to try to make in stay in this job.

I am simply not happy with this job. Period.

Was at Phantom of the Opera last Thursday. It was magical! The set was fantastic and the transition from one scene to another was amazing. It was such an experience watching a mega production.

2007-05-08T09:54:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was the first day of my internship at Meritus Mandarin as Guest Services Personnel. Spent half a day trying on my CheongSam uniform. I was bored yesterday, and am still bored today. Today I am supposed to be on attachment in different departments to see how they work. Currently at the business center now. They told me they have nothing for me to do, so told me to surf the net. Bloody bored.

2007-05-04T12:41:00.000+08:00

My exams were finally over yesterday. Even the air smells better after my liberation. I slept well for once last night - in a long while. I woke up feeling good this morning, knowing that time is in my hands. It's fantastic being able to stone in front of the tv, laptop and just do brainless stuff.

Like what Lynn said, IVLE can go hibernate, no more climbing up that gravity defying slope to catch the bus and writing of essays for the next 3 months!

2007-05-01T14:09:00.000+08:00

It has been raining for 3 consecutive nights at 3am. This means I have also been forced to get up at 3am for the past 3 nights to close the windows at home. As if my sleep hasn't been broken enough by weird dreams.

Last week I have been dreaming about people I know either dying or entering the hospital. This week I have been dreaming at least twice of me telling my pals that I have to sit for a math paper and I was super worried about it because I haven't been practicing it for eons. Apparently my phobia towards math hasn't lessened with time!

2 more papers to go.

2007-04-28T14:02:00.000+08:00

3 papers down, 2 more to go.

The past 3 days had been crazy. Had papers on Thursday, Friday and then today, Saturday. Because I had 9am papers yesterday and today and had not finished studying, I have been waking up at 6am to complete revising.

Today was terrible, waking up at 6am with heavy rain outside. To make matters worst, during my paper, this BLOODY lecturer from don't know where kept giving instructions after instructions to his students. He was pissing the hell out of the rest of us because we were sharing the exam hall. I think he gave some silly instruction at least every half an hour. I swear I was fighting the urge to stand up and ask him to shut the hell up coz each time a thought came to my mind, he blew it off.

But of course, my lecturer saved the day! As I was still struggling to end my essay, he walked pass my desk and placed a sweet on my table and smiled. He is so sweet!

To end off, lunch with the other girls from the module and bitching session was therapeutic. I need my break before studying again for the other papers.

2007-04-20T13:40:00.000+08:00

Rules of the House

If you open it __________ close it
If you get it out _________ put it away
If you sleep in it _________ make it up
If you drink out of it __________ wash it
If you take it off __________ hang it up
If you turn it on _________ turn it off
If you drop it ________ pick it up
If you clip it ________ file it
If it hurts ________ comfort it
If it cries _________ love it

2007-04-12T15:33:00.000+08:00

2007-04-12T15:13:00.000+08:00

PMS plus having to complete my readings is an awful combination. I just finished a whole box of chocolates (9 pieces in it), even the white chocolates which I would have normally thrown them out.

After eating, CHOcolates became JOYcolates. But after some time, I feel JUMBOcolates.

So it didn't help much after all.

2007-04-05T18:02:00.000+08:00

2007-04-03T19:17:00.000+08:00

2007-03-30T12:04:00.000+08:00

Fly me to Europe. Now.

I'll bring along my trench coat, boots and scarfs.

I don't want to be sitting in my living room in tank top and shorts with a fan facing directly at me and still feeling warm!

2007-03-29T17:42:00.000+08:00

I hereby declare that I am not going to make another first move to ask anyone out anymore. (guys in particular). I am not going to throw my dignity down into the dust ever again. And if you're going to tell me that I will remain single if I am not proactive, then forget it. Single shall it be then. (Or so I say.......)

2007-03-29T17:28:00.000+08:00

Why do people seek after love but choose not to let the love which has already seeked us into our lives?