Colours
of the
Rainbow*

Rachel

The road less travelled is often the road travelled alone

`My
Links

Polly!
Baoyue!
Zawani!
Lynnette!
Carine!
Veron!
Clement!
Farhan!
Tong!
Mabel!
Melissa!
Howard!
Eugene!
Vanessa!

`Be Still,
My Beating
Heart

Sleep is sweet and love complete when we rest under the covers of God's love

`Past
and Future
Tense

• September 2005
• October 2005
• November 2005
• December 2005
• January 2006
• February 2006
• March 2006
• April 2006
• May 2006
• June 2006
• July 2006
• August 2006
• September 2006
• October 2006
• November 2006
• December 2006
• January 2007
• February 2007
• March 2007
• April 2007
• May 2007
• June 2007
• July 2007
• May 2008
• Current Posts

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Had a fabulous time in Bintan, not just for the company, but also for the time spent being alone.

Upon arrival, we checked out the hotel's vicinity by doing an orientation walk, with me leading. I know the place pretty well since I was there for a camp when I was in JJ. After that, had a nice sumptous lunch at the coffee house. Went up to the hotel room after lunch to change into my bikini to catch the sun at the pool.

God is good. He blessed us with beautiful weather while we were there, even though Bintan is supposed to be in the moonsoon season now.

Since the pool was just next to the beach, I did an interswitch of venues to catch the sun when I got bored of a place. After all the lazing around at the pool and beach, we showered and went for seafood dinner at a Kelong. Marvellous scenery with nice breeze as we dined. The highlight of the day, for me, was my head, shoulder, neck and foot massage after dinner. For the first time in my entire life after going for so many massages, I was fast asleep in this one. That simply shows how good they were. Went for drinks at the bar and by the time I slept, it was already about 1am.

Was up the next day by 6am for a jog along the beach. I went myself. The quietness of the beach (since there wasn't anyone so early in the morning) echoing the crashing waves and the cool breeze was the perfect compliment for a jog and time to think about things.

When I was done running, the sun was softly shinning on my face. Since it was still high tide, I was actually thinking if I should remove my shoes to stroll along the shoreline with the waves washing up my feet. Then I told myself I might as well since I will never get a chance to do this in Singapore.

The soft shore captured my footprints. It was great to feel soft sand between my toes and warm waters from the waves removing it after that.

Had breakfast then back to laze at the pool and beach again. Had my book with me, so I did some reading, caught a short nap under the sun by the pool and did some laps. That's what life should be all about!

Just before we left, I had my final massage. (How can I forget this??) Had a creme bath with head, shoulder and neck massage. Since they used some i-don't-know-what creme on my hair, my hair is very soft now. I love the texture of it!

My 2 day 1 night retreat!

Monday, November 28, 2005

Just done with my packing for tomorrow's Bintan trip. I am indeed looking forward to it and praying for excellent weather. Tomorrow will be massage and Tuesday will be milk bath. I can practically DREAM about it happening right now! Hopefully I can meet some eye candies to make the trip complete too!

Today's church had so many Christmas songs incoperated into the main service, arousing the entire Christmas spirit. After main service was Youth Fellowship. We spent our time decorating the church for Christmas. Pretty pleased with our masterpiece. For this year, we will be doing carolling on Christmas eve and an item on Christmas day. Details have also been worked out in deciding our dress code for the event and the songs we are going to sing. We haven't done this in a couple of years already. Great that we're doing it again this year.


Something is stirring within. Something is tugging at me. Struggles, pain, WEAKNESS.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Things change, people change. Sometimes too fast for us to catch up. Had breakfast with my friend whom I haven't met in almost 5 years. Breakfast was at Breko, Holland Village. I was right, I really overslept. Was supposed to meet him at 9 but by the time I met him, it was already 9.15, considering Holland V is like just downstairs.

If not because he was the only one standing there, I really would not have recognised him. Changed so much, so grown up now. (I sound so old..) I saw him as I was walking towards our meeting place. When I first saw him from afar, I realised we were both wearing the exact same shade of yellow top. I was thinking if I should just run upstairs to change so that it would not be so embarrassing. I finally decided to go ahead to walk towards him, since I was already late.

Breakfast was really good. Breko serves excellent pancakes. We sat there and talked till about 1pm. I was amazed at how much he changed over these few years. His character is so polished now. Today's conversation was mind provoking, dealing with issues ranging from travel to books to finance, basically everthing. It was great that we managed to sustain the conversation for so long despite not meeting each other for so long. I used to think once people have not met for a long time, it would be difficult to find common topics to talk about. I was wrong. He is so well read and I really enjoyed having witty conversations with him. So different from the past where he had the 'i don't care' attitude.

He talked a lot about his girlfriend too. I like guys who constantly mention about their girlfriends. It shows a lot about the relationship they share, so intimate that no one could intrude into their space.

After leaving the place, he brought me to this shop at Holland V that I've never ventured into before. They sell really cool stuff there. He went there with the intention to see what he could pick up for his girlfriend. He got her a pair of really nice earrings for her even though she already has a lot according to him. We then parted at about 1.30pm.

He has changed so much. No longer the one who used to care only for himself. I am happy for him.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

It's approaching 2am and I am still awake! Reached home not too long ago and just came out of a nice warm, hot bath. I always cannot sleep immediately after my bath. I need some time to 'warm up' before I get to sleep.

Went New Asia Bar tonight with 4 other ladies. One of whom was my church member and the other 2 were her friends. Their average ages were late 20s and early 30s, which made me the youngest in the group. It was a great experience to go drinking with a totally different age group. We talked things that were totally different from what I normally talk to my friends. Best of all, I was able to blend in perfectly despite the huge age gap.

This group of ladies were no old people... They are party animals. They still party so regularly even though 2 of them are already mothers. I was in awe at the way they dance. They danced so well that they almost stole the limelight in the bar.

Since I was going out with this group of ladies, I made sure I was dressed to the nines, with nice shimmery clothes and make-up. As I was walking towards the hotel, my sec 3 ex students saw me and acknowledged me from far. I was shocked to see them, just as they were shocked at my outward appearance. They still recognised nonetheless. When they asked me where I was going, I could not say 'drinking', so I just told them I was going to the hotel, which was also true.

After tonight, I found out something terrible about myself. I am appalled at the amount of liquor I can hold. I had a Martini, then followed by a bottle of beer immediately after than and I did not even feel any kick. I am not proud of it.

Tomorrow I will be meeting this friend whom I have not met or spoken to in years for breakfast. I hope I will be able to wake up on time for it... (it's 2:08 am now)

Friday, November 25, 2005

I just finished watching a vcd my mum borrowed from her friend. It's a Hindi movie, but it was partly spoken in English and had English subtitles.

The heart-wrenching, deeply moving story "Black" depicts the relationship between a teacher and a student born deaf and blind. He selflessly taught the girl and seen her through since young. He constantly reminded her that 'Black' does not always means being lost, being left out. 'Black' signifies her strength to be the same as others as well as the knowledge she will be able to attain. Through his guidance, she managed to graduate from a prestigious university.

I cried so much throughout the film that my eyes are swollen and the collar of my t-shirt is still wet from those tears. Brilliant film.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

I am of course super excited about my ultimate shopping trip this holiday. I will be leaving for Hong Kong, Shenzhen then to Bangkok on the 3 Dec and returning on the 13 Dec. I trust that my dad will allocate a larger sum of HIS money for my shopping expenses, especially since his company is paying for all our accomodation and his air ticket. Furthermore, his air ticket is also cared for by his company, so he has no excuses.. hehe...

At the same time I will be going to Bintan this coming Mon for a 2 day 1 night trip. My mum got this free from a lucky draw. I am praying very very hard for excellent weather so I can busk under the sun, with lots of sunblock of course.

I am breathing in my first breath of freedom and it smells good! Exams are finally off!!! I am finally free to do whatever I like without having something at the back of my mind making me feel guilty about the little indulgences in life.

I have craving for all kinds of food now. Somehow I guess exams have numbed everything. At the moment, I want ice-cream. I will get the craving settled when I get out of the house later. That's how much I want to get out of the house after being cooped up in the house for almost a month. Looking forward to shopping, eating and everything else later!

Yesterday May, Lynn and I drew up our holiday timetable. We wrote down our to-do-list for the hoildays.

1) Exercise -- party of 2 fat girls (yes, just you and I)
2) Seafood meal in JB -- our gang
3) Reading the books we have always wanted to -- all are welcome
4) Overseas trip -- Individual
5) Shopping -- 4 girls
6) New Asia bar -- 4 girls, after which the other 3 will continue partying at some club
7) Cake baking at someone's house?? -- 4 girls (Sam is definitely welcome to work, not only eat!)

*I don't think I missed out on anything...

Excited...

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

I just woke up from my sleep. This cool weather is really not helping me be productive. (full of excuses for lazy people)

Had my South Asian paper yesterday. God is so good. I did last minute studying for this paper, every paper in fact... We had to choose 3 questions to do out of 12. I tried my best to spot the 3 questions and studied only for those 3. When I saw the paper, the only 3 I had studied came out. God's grace!

Ended yesterday's paper very late, about 7 plus. Did not have the time and energy to prepare for today's paper. I woke up earlier this morning to study for my Geog paper before the exam at 9. Did my best.

1 last paper tomorrow. I MUST press on!

Monday, November 21, 2005

Got the link for this test from Veron's blog. Did this in the midst of studying. A sure break from the B-O-R-I-N-G life i'm living now. I love this test. So accurate! (90% at least)

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:
Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

I just reached home not too long ago. My dad's in Paris on business trip so I took over the car and went out with the rest of my family, including my grandma. We went to have seafood dinner at Jumbo. Nice alfresco dining by the kallang waterfront. After dinner I took a drive down to Orchard Road to view the Christmas light-up. The freedom of being able to drive around...

Saturday, November 19, 2005

I have such a chauvinistic brother, not like I haven't known it all this while... Oprah's show today was on a tribute to successful women. One of them was a firewoman who leads the largest fire station in San Francisco. While they were presenting her profile, my brother asked "does she even have a family?"

To answer his question, Oprah said this firewoman was not only the number 1 woman in the fire station, but she also has 3 sons.

I questioned my brother in return. I asked him if he would have asked the same question if they were interviewing a man with the same achievements instead. He kept quiet. He believes that women will never be able to strike a balance with work and family.

I choose to defer.

I am super excited! I am truly mobile now, thanks to my laptop and the new wireless network after such a long wait. Chatting, sending emails, blogging, anthing, anytime!

(Blogging on my couch while watch the Oprah show)

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

I woke up pretty early this morning. By 8am, I was already doing my Philo. In fact I was quite pleased with myself. My conditions were perfect for studying as well, with soft music playing in the background from my radio. The killer came when the radio station started playing Christmas carols. My concentration died immediately! Christmas carols meant holidays! I sat there thinking about my holidays. I haven't had the mood to go back to my work till now...

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

My Sesame Street Persona test
You are very organized, both concrete and abstract, and more extroverted.
Here is why are you Big Bird.
You are both very organized. You almost always know where your belongings are and you prefer things neat. You may even enjoy cleaning and find it therapeutic. Big Bird is never sloppy and always under control... pretty good for a 6 year old bird living without a family.You both are sometimes concrete and sometimes abstract thinkers. Big Bird can be quite dreamy at times and has no problem using his imagination. At the same time he is also practical and can be methodical in his search for answers to questions. You have a good balance in your life. You know when to be logical at times, but you also aren't afraid to explore your dreams and desires... within limits of course.You are both extroverts. Big Bird gets along with everyone. He makes friends easily and always has a positive attitude. You definitely enjoy the company of others, and you don't have problems meeting new people... in fact you probably look forward to it. You are willing to take charge when necessary or work as part of a team.

When will the entire episode of studying for exams finally end? Mind stretched, body aching.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

God made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, to be our atoning sacrifice, so that we can be accepted in the eyes of our Heavenly Father.

You exchanged your wholeness for my brokeness so that I will never be broken again.
You exchanged your wealth for my poverty so that I will never lack anything.
I can only say thank you.

Each of us were called to live differently:

A cat leads a cat's life. It eats fishes and goes after mice.
A dog leads a dog's life. It wags its tail and catches cats.
What about Christians? What kind of life should we lead. We ought to live lives that reflect Chirst living within us. That has to come naturally because that is how we are created.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Know His power, in quietness and trust

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Your Hidden Talent

Your natural talent is interpersonal relations and dealing with people.You communicate well and are able to bring disparate groups together.Your calming presence helps everything go more smoothly.People crave your praise and complements.

I am crucified in weakness, yet I will live by God's power

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Yesterday's church service was in Mandarin. I thought I wouldn't be able to understand anything. I was wrong. While it is true that I did not participate when everyone was singing, due to the simple fact that I can't follow the words, but the sermon was excellent!

The pastor used many simple analogies to bring his point across. One of which that striked me most was the story of a cat. It goes like this:

Many years ago, the pastor was a bomb blast victim while doing mission work. He ended up in ICU. He was scolding and questioning God, asking Him why did he allow that to happen. A few days later, a stranger (he must be sent by God) walked in to his room and told him a story. There was once a cat. It was very well loved by its owner. It was well taken care of in every aspect. However, there was a day when its owner came back home and decided to shave its fur. The cat was very angry. It told the owner that if he doesn't want it anymore, he can let him wander elsewhere but he should not let him suffer this humiliation by shaving off its fur, since a cat's fur is its most precious belonging.

The owner simply replied, you don't understand. After the shaving was done, he brought it onto the streets and showed it the notice that was on the wall. It stated that there was a killing spree that was going on. People were out to kill beautiful cats for their fur to be made as handbags etc.

At this time, the cat was breaming with tears. It finally understood that its owner allowed that to happen was because of love, because he wanted to save its life.

At that point in time, after that story, that stranger left. The pastor finally understood why God allowed that to happen. It happened out of love, as He wanted to save his life.

Many things in life, we don't understand. But God didn't call us to understand. He only told us to trust. His purposes to fulfill are greater than our problems.

Yesterday was a day to be remembered. I did not attend my own church but went with my grandma to her's because she had her baptism. Amazing how God has been working in her life. She accepted the Lord only about 2 months ago and she asked the pastor if she could be baptised by the end of this year.

She had the most supporters (12!) among all the other baptismal candidates yesterday. Her sisters, brother-in-law, their children and of course us were there yesterday. I was the photographer for the day. There were quite a number of others who also got baptised yesterday.

Their baptism was different from mine. While mine was full water submersion, they had only water sprinkled on their heads. I guess the main reason for that difference is due to the age group that comprises of that church. 90% of the members of that church were senior citizens, it is therefore impossible to full submerge them...

I asked my grandma how was her feeling during her baptism. She told me she felt very peaceful, the kind of peace that cannot be explained. I know what she meant. I had the same kind of peace too during my baptism. The peace is granted because we are doing things that are pleasing in the eyes of the Lord.

The main point: she was so refreshed after the whole thing. She was introducing all of us to her other church members. There was pride in her eyes. All I want is to see her being happy. This happiness is only what God can provide.

Though majority of her supporters were non-Christians, but their willingness to attend yesterday's event and through listening to the sermon, I pray their lives will be transformed...

My stomach has been giving me so much problems this week. This is my second or third time having diarrhoea in a week. Was having diarrhoea again last night, so I skipped German tutorial this morning. Anyway, I'm glad I did that too coz I would have 5 hours of break before my next lesson, so I might as well...

Counting down to the end of exams, I want my freedom back! Philo essays are ready for collection. I've yet to see what kind of crappy grade i'll get for that since I know I did not put in full effort for that.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Out of sight is out of mind? I hope this works...